Monday, January 10, 2011

Deep in the Heart of Texas....

Lots of things happen deep in the heart of Texas. The song says the stars at night are big and bright. This is true. I would know having been born there! I spent the first 9 years of my life in San Antonio Texas and my ENTIRE extended family still lives throughout the state. Seriously, my parents, my sister and I and one cousin are the only ones who do not live somewhere in the lone star state. And much to my parent's shagrin I no longer consider Texas my home. Don't get me wrong, I am proud of my Texas roots! And I adore my family there and wish I could see them more often than every few years (which is what we currently average). My parents would move back there tomorrow if my sister and I would join them but we are committed to the tarheel state forever and ever amen and they are committed to us and their cutesy bootsy grandkids.
So, NC it is.

And if for some reason I ever had second thoughts about whether I should return to the sprawling scenery, scorching temps, out of this world mexican food, larger than life oaks trees, and childhood memories of my home state, the following image jolts me back into reality, and stands alone as the only reason I will ever need to stay firmly planted here in good old NC:


Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. 
Wait, not done throwing up in my mouth. 
Okay, there. I think that does it. 

My aunt emailed me this pic and if the fact that this sucker was once alive and kicking 
(if snakes can kick) isn't enough, how about the fact that it came with the warning that 
rattlesnakes are no longer rattling so they will strike with no warning at all. 
Rude.

I know no one likes snakes, but I feel very sure that my aversion 
(which usually includes nausea, a cold sweat, and a genuine plea to Jesus 
that I never have to come across another snake) is greater than average.

In all fairness, I'm sure they don't strike unless provoked,
and I'm sure they are more afraid of me than I am of them,
and I'm sure they help keep down the mice population,
and I'm sure they are magnificent creatures,
and I'm sure if you believe any of that malarky then need to get your act together and 
take a long, hard look at that picture: the snake's head is bigger than my dog's head. 

Magnificent my foot.

Truth be told I do have a huge place in my heart for Texas and would be 
remiss if I didn't offer a little shout out to the lone star, the yellow rose, 
the everything's bigger in, the place of my birth.....Texas!

That's me in the middle. Nice triangular drop-waist on that Easter dress. 
There was nothing classy about the 80's.

Wow. Family xmas pic circa 1988. 
Acid-wash jeans + scottie dog sweater + fantastic sams perm = hot mess.

This picture is a prime example of Eric's beef with Texas.
How is it that a standard photo op with your beloved aunt must include obligatory saddles and a cardboard sheriff in the background.
I love you Aunt Margaret!


Speaking of beef, this is a pic of the counter where you eat at my relative's bbq joint
(Kreuz's - look it up. It's for real famous).
There is a steak knife on the other end of that chain. 
No kidding. 

Cowboy take me away!
This was taken at my aunt and uncle's (who are truly the hub of my family) 
50th wedding anniversary celebration. Eric has a lot of love for my uncle Lee. 
He represents everything great about Texas - a deep commitment to his family, a little grit,
 and an ability to turn beef brisket into something so delicious you would risk a mammoth
 rattlesnake encounter to get to it.

So although I have no forseeable plan of moving back there, I will always claim 
Texas as home....home to my family, home to some sweet memories, and home
 to the biggest mamma jamma, nausea-inducing, lose your leg if they bite you snakes.
 Eeew.





2 comments:

  1. I am 100% with you. I have a completely irrational fear of snakes. Seriously will probably have nightmares about them tonight just from seeing this picture.

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  2. oh. wow. seriously, a snake that big is just plain wrong. i hate snakes. hate them. i'm pretty sure if i came across one that gi-normous that i would just faint. and it would apparently be big enough to eat me up.

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